Respect

How do you show and command respect at the same damn time? I have this issue and not a clue how to fix it.

I'm adopted and I have 12 other brothers and sisters. Most of whom live about hour from each other a few live out of the state. I mention this for a reason which I will get to later.

Our parents live about 5 to 6 hours away from all of the kids, I'm probably the furthest. They routinely take that 5+hour drive for various reasons and come to town when they do they need somewhere to stay.

• Now here is my point.... they only stay with me. They usually don't ask and usually don't tell me they are coming, they show up at my house ( yes they have a key... instant regrets about that).

So my issue is why me??? My parents have other kids they can stay with why burden me? Now I know your thinking but they are your parents they raised you and all that jazz and yes your right. Im grateful to my parents because they chose to raise me they picked me to be their child and that's special to me... however I'm an adult and like they use to tell me... this is my house and my rules!!!!

What blows me is I dont feel like they respect me or my home. They come create disorder in my place of peace. Who wants to come home to guest after a long day of work to guest that you didnt expect and they want you to cook dinner? TF?

Waymin.... I didnt send for you....dont come for me.

My issue is I want respect.. I want my parents to know they have to ask to stay at my house, this is a place that they are always welcomed however there are rules you gotta follow. Hell they are the ones who taught me to always call before you pop up at someones house. Sooo why are the rules different? I have a family of my own that I have to worry about I cant really be too concerned about my parents they are grown.

How do you command respect and give respect when you are asking an older generation especially if they are your parents?

Inquiring minds need to know? Any thoughts?樂

The "SINGLE" mentally

Something I dont understand is the single mentally. Such as when women says they're a single mother when the father of their child is very active. No boo your not a single mother your SINGLE. Point blank period. Why do some women call themselves single mother's? Its like they want someone to feel sorry for them or they want to feel like their struggle so great  when in all actuality its not. Now dont get me wrong being the primary parent is by no means easy. Having to deal with the daily needs of a child can be taxing on the mind and soul. Im no longer with the father of my children and I dont not .......will not consider myself a single mother. Why??? Cause my children's father are very active. Being single mean there are no breaks, no father no nothing. If that man is doing something even paying child support then sis you anit doing it alone you have help. If that man isn't paying child support but spends time with the child... sis you anit a single mother.. your SINGLE!

So stop playing the victim we do not feel sorry for you having to raise your child and that you're the primary parent. Maybe next time you would think twice about who you lay with.

I know of this one chick who had two kids by two different men and sis was struggling hard. It seemed she couldn't get her life together and then she got a new job, new house and a car. Then she got pregnant again this time with twins
.....now what I dont understand was if you was struggling with the two kids and getting little to no help with the kids you already had.. why would you repeat history? And then complain about being a "SINGLE" mother? Are you single because the men you picked sucked or are you single by choice? To me it feels like a choice after the 1st time its a choice. You know what they say instantly is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And you know sometimes your in a relationship and it doesn't work out, it happens...move on and do your best at co parenting. Dont break up and soon after that start calling yourself a single mother.. no sis your single.

What are your thoughts on what a SINGLE mother is? To me it means a mom that does it day in day out no help physically or financially. A women that has to hold it down because there is no one else is there to support her. Any kid of help from the father does not qualify you to be a single mom even if it's he does it today and doesn't do it for a couple of months and then comes back today and doesn't do it for another couple months you're not a single mother. What that means is your baby daddy ain't s*** and he's not consistent but you're still not a single mother.

Lets talk about it... what makes a SINGLE mother?