Why does it seem like black man are financially un-stable?

The playing field usually isn’t leveled when it comes to black women and black men in finances. In dating I have noticed that most black men that I have dated usually are not financially strong or stable. Now in my early 20’s it wasn’t a big thing because I myself wasn’t financially stable. In our 20’s we are all dealing with student loan debt, credit cards debt, and other financial burdens. We are just starting this thing called “adutling” and we are usually not very good at it when we start. But at what point does the playing field become so un-leveled? The older I get and start to get the grown under my feet more leveled, I have noticed that I’m usually more financially stable then the men that I date, why is that the case? I think as women age we are looking for more stability from our men. We want to get married eventually and have a family and live the dream. But that dream of happily ever after usually is hard to come by when dealing with a person that has a lot of financial debt coming into the relationship. Both men and women usually have some type of burden whether its kids, a crazy ex, or debt.

 What has happened? Now I understand that life happens and we all go down different paths, some have it easier than others and I get why some can’t get on a level playing field.  I wanted to know why black men are not more financially successful. Even at work I have noticed there are no black men in manager or executives roles. So I did some research and I talked to a few black men and I asked them WHY? Now in doing my research it showed a lot of different reasons why black men are less financially stable compared to others. A few reasons why black men tend to be less stable financially was because black men do not want credit cards and usually avoid obtaining loans or credit cards which means they don’t build credit this way. BUT when they do have credit cards black men are less likely to be able to pay them off which will means having negative credit history. I kind of think this is because our parents would tell us NOT to get a credit card and how bad they were. Which is true getting a credit card can be bad but they shouldn’t be avoided. Another factor was the access to financial education. Black men tend to have less access to getting financial information due to their location, such as not having access to a traditional bank. All this made a lot of sense to me but I thought about it more, black women live in the same neighborhoods and we usually are okay with finding the information we need. There is so much Racial inequality that it blows my mind, just look at the data that I found from the PEW Research Center:

  

So I asked a few black men and their reason where:

Having to pay child support (back child support affecting credit)

Not have any support

Not getting a tax return due to child support

Doing things for others

Not thinking about bills and forgetting to pay them

Losing jobs (being unemployed)

Not being able to find a good paying job

And the list goes on. These reasons are legit reason why some men can’t seem to get it together. But on the same hand I think its just an excuse. And as a primary parent of two kids I have a huge financial burden each and every day. I make due because I have to, I  can’t give my children an excuse of why I can’t do something or tell the bill collector that they anit getting paid. Now granted as a women I’m afforded with things to make my life a little easier such as getting large tax returns, food stamps, day care vouchers, child support and other social service services things to help out, but not all mothers can get these services especially mothers that “make too much money” which still is annoying that they consider making too much money anything over $35K for a household of 3 like really? 

Anyway….my own personal story is in my 20’s I had horrible credit I mean your girl was in the 500’s. I had a few credit cards, student loans, a judgement against me, and hospital bills from having my kids. I was drowning in debt. Each year when I would get tax money back I would pay off whatever bills I could but I would usually end up using my credit cards again. So each year I was paying off the previous years credit cards balance. There came a point that I thought this wasn’t working. I was getting $6K in a tax returns each year and I was wasting it on silly stuff.  YES I was that chick in the mall ballin' outta control during tax time.

So I started to save it and let those returns build up. I also went back to school and took out loans in excess of what I needed a few times to get a student refund and used that money to help pay bills and live. Now I do not recommend doing that but for me it was something I had to do in order to live. Most of my 20’s was just cleaning up the mess I have made for myself financially. And in my 30’s I started to come up for air. By the time I was 30 I had bought my 1^st house and brought my credit score went from a 550 to a 725 in 5 years. By the time I was 32 I had amounted $50K in assets including investments and home equity. My children also have investments for when they go to college. So when I think about my own story and the crap I had to go through I know it is possible.

But when I date I feel like what are these men doing? How you are over 35 and still don’t have your crap together? And I hate to think like that because I don't know their story or what had happen, BUT when ask these men and listening I'm just looking at them like AND YOUR POINT SIR? I still don't understand how some of these men don't have their crap together and as women we usually do or have to get our crap together. I don’t fault my kings because I don’t know their struggle. I do wish there was more I could do one to understand it more and to help.

What I do know as a mother of two kings it’s my job to make sure my sons have a healthy understanding of finances and wealth. Hopefully I can teach them something and help them in some way. I do know that our parents and the generations before us talk enough about finances and I think that has hurt us some. So my question still stands why aren't more black men financially strong compared to black women and if they are how did they do it? What are your thoughts?